Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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Heskey time.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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I love you

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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