9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops