whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did one computer say to the other .........

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -4

http://adf.ly/C8MqG

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

H2O corndogs running around naked CC

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops