How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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