Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops