Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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