How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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