Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops