Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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school homewrok

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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