If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

So a bar walks into a man...

good looking women

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

guess what>? your mum lol

Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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