A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

[Insert anti-joke here]

What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? A: It was in tents!

What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

Anti Jokes = Drained

What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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