You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt 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qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwarvt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwa

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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haha

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

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I read a haiku. It was honestly quite good. That's basically it.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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