How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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