So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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Urban ghettos

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops