Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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