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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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