roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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read this sentence again.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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