What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

lewis=cardiac

2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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