whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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