How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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Please ignore this statement.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops