Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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