A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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