Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops