A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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