did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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knock knock who's there? faith

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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