Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops