What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Barack Obama.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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This is not a joke.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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