Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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