whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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