When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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