What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

Guess what? I like trains.

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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