Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

Take wrong turns

What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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