What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

I hate it when people dont finish there sen

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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