Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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