-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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YOU

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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mark is life

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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