If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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meatspin.fr

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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