There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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