Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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why dont they make black forks

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops