Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Skinny people fart less.

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops