Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

I'm so punny.

Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...