What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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Pickles are powerful

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops