what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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jews

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped sixes mom

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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ert

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops