How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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