what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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