A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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