jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Why was the boy dead? The boy was hit by a bus ran over by a train and stabbed to death by a murderer then put into a grinder for a meal for the murderer.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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My jeans

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops