What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +7

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down +7

tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +5

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops