Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

afbn;fjnf;ajnvaf;djvnadf;vvjkfvnfvjalnvjkfvnaeljvknfljkvndfsljvnadfjvndflvkadjnfvldjfnvlakdjfnvldfjnvaldfjkvndfjkvandfvjlkdfnvaldkjvndlfjvandflvdjnvadljfnvdlfjvnadflvjdnfvladjnvdlkfjvnadlfjvndaflvjakdnflvjdakfnvalfdknvljdnflvjdanlfjvnadflvjandfvljkfndvladjkfnvldajfknvalherluhwprgqehgpquetryhpqwiourpqoitqyert9134857wieosdfljkealdfjkgfrgjuy0qo48wriehflqgetarkgjfhjkljgbflgjbfgjbflsdjfbgbkglirueerhigqehgluqeht3qt9384yt19834ty308748574785uifhsldhfljaghlkjfghfldkjaghlkfjdhaglkjhdglkjhfdgioerqoertueroiuytqeuirytqerouityqerotuiyertiuytqoiuerhajvnasdnjkvalfn I stopped reading too.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Chicken cross the road? "The Sky is that same reddish gray" Lance the chicken Thought to himself as he looked out into the busy intersection of Franklin and 4th....The city was more bustling that day then it had previously been the week before..."Maybe its because its friday..another weekend of family fun i guess" Lance said to himself...but then he remembered it was only tuesday..the days have all meshed together like some kind of various meats thrown together last second in an omelet...As lance looked into the stream of cars he wondered if somewhere..in some alternate dimension or some far away planet..that he could be riding in one of those cars..filled with his wife..his kids and all the happiness that you could fit into a tiny 4 door... But in between the dazzling stream of colours he could see a figure..staring right back at him..the figure was of another chicken..But a gruesome sorrowing excuse for a chicken..But something about that estranged being brought him somewhere////brought him to a place he never wanted to think about..he looked into the sky hoping to break eye contact..but instead was thrown into a turmoil of hate, regret and sorrow.. He looked down at his wedding ring..now only a piece of gold and silver..meaningless. "How Could I have done that to the one I loved the most...I made a promise to protect her"....he still remembers her last words to him..the breath she whispered to him moments before she past.."We live as slaves, to love what god takes away"...the one thing Lance Remembers most about that day was the obtuse shade of the sky..That Reddish Gray..It was almost as if the sky was red with his anger at the world...They Had just started their life together...not even 2 hours after she had been so violently ripped from his heart..he began returning to the drugs, sex and abuse that she saved him from...or tried to save him from..looking back at it//he tried filling that hole in his heart with whatever he could find..until his search lead him to that intersection..the intersection of Franklin and 4th...the day was growing old.... and his shadow growing long..soon the traffic began to to dwindle and he finally saw the figure..He finally saw what he had become..in the reflection of an adjacent building..he finally saw what society has made him...a monster...he never thought it would've came to this..everyone has plans for their lives..until they get hit. what is life without a purpose? what is purpose without love? Tormented by the monsters and demons of his past...he took one last look into the sky...closed his eyes.. and blindly walked into the now busy intersection..hoping to find peace...on the Other Side.....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

thumb_up thumb_down -20

had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops