Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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