Charlie Sheen

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Helen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it "NUuhHUhhuUUUuhhhuuuuumph!"

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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