One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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Your adopted

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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