- Anti Joke

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

Happy Monday!

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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