Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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no.

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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