What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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