A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +30

men, men like men= men+bed

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

thumb_up thumb_down +30

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops