whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops