What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops